The Bowiefan's Prayer

Our Bowie who art in Outside
Blessed be thy sax
Thy music will come
Thy words will be cut
As it is in Heaven's in Here
Give us this day our daily Message Board
And forgive us our misunderstandings
As we forgive those
Who don't buy your cds
Lead us not into pop music
But deliver us from Michael Bolton

By Cobalt Blue

Down on our knees, praying at the bus stop.

And now the forth day came and the sound of the saxophone became loud and it beckoned me to the place we can all see but never understand. The Lord Bowie came down in all fire and sound and vision. He came and sat right down and I waited for the smoke to clear. The sound of the saxophone became louder and louder by degrees and the sound was drawn out to a greater length......... Lord Bowie spoke...........

I am the Lord thy Bowie, who brought you out of the land of POP and out of the house of Elton John. Thou shalt not have any strange Musics before me.

Thou shalt not make to thyself an image of BONO nor a likeness of anything that is in CD, or in the airwaves in space, nor of those things that are in your minds under EART TH LING. I am the Lord thy Bowie, mighty, jealous, and I tolerate no rivals.

Thou shalt not use my name nor my musics for lazy purpose. When thou listen thou shalt move and sway or sit in quite contemplation. When thou utter my name thou shalt beam delight.

Remember that thou keep holy the seventh day. Six days shall thou listen. But on the seventh day YOU shall create and dream in my name. On the seventh day I the Lord thy Bowie will listen and I will feel thy presence.

Honor IMAN and ENO and thy Mistakes.

Thou shalt not overkill with analysis.

Thou shalt not become lost in adulthood and become lifeless.

Thou shalt not plagiarize, only synthesize.

Thou shalt not accuse anyone on my message board falsely.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors musics, nor thy neighbors computer perhaps not thy neighbors lovers, nor thy dream, nor most anything else thy neighbors may own.

And all the Mbers saw the messages and the flames, and the sound of Bowie, and being ecstatic they stood and raised their hands into the air and shouted with a loud unified shout “ Speak thou to us, and we shall hear” And the lord Bowie descended from a dark cloud and spoke. “Sometimes you get so lonely, sometimes you get nowhere, I've been all over the world, I've been everyplace.”

By Cobalt Blue (official revised standard version)


1:1 And so it came to pass that on the twelve red tides of Judea there was 
a strange longing in The Lord, a longing to make popular musics.
1:2 He getteth together a band of past greats like Earl Slick and 
Carlos Alomar and he getteth Babyface to produce.
1:3 He did not excuse his mistakes in a charming fashion to the media. 
1:4 The storm rumbled and it came to pass that Bowie who had begotten U2 
was surpassed by his own progeny, as the same year the The Lord chose to 
maketh OF the popular musics U2 went and got artistically challenging.
1:5 And the critics panneth not His effort, nay, but calleth it 
"the best Bowie album since Ziggy" and "a pop classic".
1:6 And eight-years-old performeth of the gymnastics routine to his latest 
1:7 The Lord Bowie looketh upon this and beameth, as one pleased.
1:8 And he recorded more of the same.
1:9 And thus endeth the world.

By Ali

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